Warning: Ambien is hazardous to your wallet

I suffer from insomnia. I just can't seem to quiet my mind long enough to put it to rest. I have learned to channel this energy and find that I am at my most creative and articulate in the wee hours of the night. There are times however, when I've gone for several days without real sleep and know that I am teetering on the edge of dysfunction. So I give in and take a sleeping aid. I have outgrown Melatonin and found that the only way for me to get solid sleep is Ambien. A wonderful and incredibly expensive drug (especially when one does not have health insurance - but that is a whole other blog). So I tend to use it sparingly.

I have to time it all just right. If I take it too close to going to sleep, there isn't time for it to process and insomnia still sets in. If I take it too late at night, I oversleep the next day. There is a small window to experience the thrill of the Ambien high right before peaceful sleep is granted. If I allow myself to indulge for too long in the high, it takes control and I am up for hours - incredibly productive, with almost no recollection. I've done some of my best writing in this Ambien fog of creative clarity.

I've had quite a few Ambien induced conversations with friends. They find it incredibly entertaining, and probably somewhat annoying, but nonetheless insist on sharing with me the next day all the rambling and metaphysical stories I unload on them. My memory isn't a total blackout, but there are pieces that are gone. It is almost like I am taking part in an awake dream and I can recall only vague snippets. It is oddly amusing and strangely fascinating to me.

Some time in the last 3-5 days I must have indulged in my favorite sleep aid, pushed past the short high and hung out in Nirvana for a few hours watching infomercials. All day I was interrupted with deliveries at my door that I can't remember ordering. The lure of late night channel surfing through all the latest hype of exercise videos, vitamins, software updates, hair restoration and self-help books - found their way to my family room floor, neatly stacked in brown UPS boxes.

I even have a package from the EDD with materials I apparently requested for providing special disaster relief insurance to all my employees. I don't even have any employees.

I've heard of horror stories of people on Ambien blindly raiding their refrigerators, eating their way through the night. Thank god I don't raid the cupboards, just my wallet! So I guess what happens while on Ambien, no longer stays a secret.

I sure hope all this stuff is returnable!

Wait...what time is it? Am I on Ambien right now??